Here are 5 Christmas present suggestions for the runner in your life:
Bandana – A sure-fire winner – not only is it really cheap, it has a myriad of uses. What else can you use to prevent sunburn, soak up sweat, strain water, bandage wounds, gag prisoners, create smoke signals, tie a splint, cover your eyes if things just get too scary, and, best of all, wipe your ass in an emergency.
And you thought we only wore them to hide our bald patch.
Water Bottle – This also has the advantage of being cheap, and also has several uses – the obvious one of course, is carrying water, but it can also be used to squirt water at chasing dogs to distract them, giving the runner time to get away. It can also be thrown at crew members who don’t have your fucking snacks ready during an ultramarathon aid break.
GPS Watch – This is definitely not at the cheaper end, but will certainly put you in the runner’s good books. As long as you get the right one. Buying a watch with a 4 hour battery probably won’t impress an ultra runner (unless they are really, really, fast), and a non waterproof model will leave a triathlete frustrated, but get the right model, and they will love you. A GPS watch allows them to become obsessed with pacing and heart rates, and is great for causing psychological meltdown at mile 18 of a marathon when they realize there’s a PB for the asking.
A Running Book – because who doesn’t love a good book? You could even check out my book reviews to help you choose. While you stuff your face with turkey, and open up that second bottle of wine over Christmas, you can read about how Scott Jurek ran 300 miles across a desert on nothing but a gluten free burrito stuffed with cauliflower he grew himself.
Running Socks – ah, the good old Christmas present of last resort, socks. When you give someone a present of socks, it says something about your relationship. Something awful. Be careful though, as runners have the most sensitive feet of any creature in the natural world, and when they get multiple blisters 300 yards into the first marathon they run in their new socks, you’ll have to listen to them bitch about it for weeks.